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This post will be is about how work went for me in year one.

There will be NOT ONE LIE in this story. I will review and re-read every paragraph to look for exaggerations and trim them down to the facts. I will do my best to leave out my opinion as much as possible - only placing them in the story to explain a decision I made. Otherwise I will work hard to tell this story with only what happened as much as I can.

Bare with me; this is sixteen years plus of my life I am telling. It is not going to be finished in 6 paragraphs. This first year is one of the few years that will get this much writing so don’t freak out – you aren’t going to get 16 times this amount of writing to read.

If you havent read it already, you should read AA a Go-Go: My first year of Sobriety
first.

When I hit rehab, I was still employed as a programmer for that national corporation. In fact, it was their health plan’s EAP number I called. And the EAP referred me to the detox hospital. The next call was to my boss to tell him where I would be the next week. That phone call was actually the beginning of my mending bad terms with my boss Dave.

Poor Dave had to deal with the crappiest employee ever – me. In the last two years I was guaranteed to call in sick on Monday, EVERY Monday and a 50-50 shot on not being in on the following Tuesday either. And when I did show up, it was purely for body count. I was either in the middle of a three day binge or I was hung over and on fumes with an hour or two’s sleep. In short, I was completely worthless as an employee, never mind worth anything as a computer programmer. And Dave actually had bigger things on his mind. A messy divorce was just beginning at the same time a-hole employee harry begins doing his thing. So for a long time, my shit performance was ignored. But by the time 1989 is half way through, Dave is paying attention and I was put on probation twice for lack of performance. Just a month before I made it to rehab, Dave gave me a no terms warning – one more call in sick – doctors note or not and I am fired. And then he did something that might have saved my life; he handed me the 1800 number for the substance abuse EAP. “I can’t make you call these people, but I would if I were you.

And 2 weeks later, I did call that number. What I did not know at the time, was that Dave giving me this option got him in BIG trouble with some middle management guys in our division.

Unlike the previous two plus years, now in sobriety, I was coming in every day and on time for work. In Dave’s own words “Harry was like night and day comparing now to then. Meanwhile, as many of you corporate people are aware, some managers do not care what the company policy says; it’s what they want that matters.

Unfortunately for me and Dave, we had at least two executives acting exactly in that fashion on the topic of Harry. While these executives were itching to fire me, they knew I was now untouchable as a voluntary participant of the COMPANY’S EAP for substance abuse. Again, I was unaware of this subplot until late in the game. Dave, the good person that he is, not only thought of my health and safety when he gave me the EAP info, but he also did a lot to shield me from knowing about the hatred these two executives had for me. Six months past and things were progressing but not as fast as I would have liked. I was there everyday and I did give it my all to become the good programmer I once was, but I wanted to be back 100 percent NOW. But Dave was happy and that, my sponsor reminded me, was what counted.

Then that summer (of 90), sometime around the 7 or 8 month sober mark, Dave calls me into his office and says, “I’ve got some bad news. I have to put you on probation again. While I was out there being an addict and the worse employee, these two executives were not part of Dave and my group. They could voice their opinion, but it was nothing more than that - their opinion.

Now things were very different; these two middle management guys were Dave’s immediate supervisor and the other was our division head. So while its 100 percent true that Dave was acting according to corporate policy and it was 100 percent true that the RETRIBUTION these execs wanted was against corporate policy, the reality was that life for Dave could become very difficult for him if he just completely ignored their directions. And their (against corporate policy) directive to Dave was clear, we want Harry gone and we are going to begin by putting him on probation. This was the first time Dave let me in on the subplot and being a loyal devote member of AA now, I new this was wreckage of the past that I created. This test was something I deserved and so with Dave and God on my side, I would trust that everything will work out fine. After all, I was trying. I did want to be a good employee again. I knew I owed Dave at least two years of hard work without a raise to make up for all I put him through. So with all that good intention, and my living a life which includes daily prayer, everything would be fine. No worries.

Maybe if this was someone else’s AA pitch, that would be how it unfolds. But this is my AA story and how it unfolds is just like any guy on the street (or in the gutter) will tell you how it ends – the execs win and Harry is fired out of revenge. Even at that point with executives blaming Dave for giving me an EAP choice in 1989, now here again in the summer of 90, Dave is trying to save me from the unemployment line. Dave would put me on the 30 day probation, and as corporate policy dictates, he will give me tasks and performance expectations written down at the start. I will read the document, and understanding that if these tasks aren’t performed as expected, I fail the probation and then I am fired. That’s what Dave did. I got tasks and performance levels that were in line with my job title and my pay grade. Per company guidelines, Dave would meet weekly with me to review my progress and correct anything that needed correction. Per company policy on these performance probations, my manager would work with me and not against me, in order to pass the probation.

Just days away from the end of my probation, Dave calls me in again. They don’t like what is going on. They say Dave is not doing his job correctly and the probation has to be redone. This time, I will report directly to Dave’s boss and Dave’s boss, Jeff, will set the probation tasks and conduct the meetings until my probation is finished. Of course I am in a major panic. They are really out to get me! But that’s just my initial reaction. Full of fear, I am expecting the worst. But I had to learn to trust God. I was working with good intentions and I was not trying to cheat nor trick anyone, so things will work out as they should, as God wants them to work out.

Jeff gives me the new probation, starting over at day 1 and a new set of tasks and performance requirements. God is with me, and I am going to work on making this all happen. And damn if I wasn’t actually getting past some of those early tasks with only a little bit of sweat on my brow! I was fearing those early tasks on the list would be too difficult but I someone managed to do them ok. God did work for you if you prayed!

Ah, but whatever I thought God would do for me here I was wrong because half way through this probation new boss Jeff changed some of the task sub points and some of the performance level expectations. The rules of the probation were made much tougher half way through because no one – including me – thought I would make it this far. Those rules were changed. It didn’t matter if that’s against corporate rules or not, that’s what happened. Jeff didn’t care, HR didn’t care, and the corporate head of HR’s EAP at the Connecticut HQ didn’t care. I was fired from the company. Fire For revenge, for retribution. Not for remedy, not for current lack of performance nor for disapproval of my boss. But God knows what is needed. I need to not pray for results but pray to understand the results. Right?

So in the same week I got my 9th month chip, two other things happened; I turned 30 years old and I was fired from my job of 7 years. When this happened and for YEARS to come, I believed it was all for the best and God was there to guide me through it all.

This was to be the first of many life’s lessons that I would excuse away because it was God’s will and things will work out in the end. I’ve GOT MANY MANY more such true stories to tell you.

This is my first story of trusting God and how it worked out. If you want, you can read how the next 4 years of job hunting and employment went for me by clicking here.

Harry A.