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I just noticed that its been a while since I posted lesson one, so its time for our next lesson.

The 2nd rule of AA success: Be the worst there was and the best there is.

In other words, exaggerate your past and then make note of how far you have come because of the 12 step program. And because of God too, of course. If these last two sentences didnt make sense, you should read lesson one again. Then you will get it.

This is easy to do, it can almost never be proved as an exaggeration and will always make your present state look that much more improved. Most men in meetings do it all the time, especially at stag meetings. The women dont do this as much as us men, but its common enough.

Quick example: You are at a stag meeting and you share the following: ”When I was out there drinking and using, I didnt respect any one’s marriage vows. I would take home any wife or girlfriend. Today because of a loving God and the 12 steps, I do not date married women. I dont even date women with boyfriends.”

And the real truth? You almost never go after married or otherwise after taken women. It happened only twice while in your life with the same woman (who was so hot that no heterosexual man would have turn her down). If it wasnt for that once or twice, you could truthfully claim you never did anything like that in your life. 

You can see where the truth won’t advance you in the rankings of the meetings elite. But using that exaggeration can and will show you to be the spirutally growning man of the fellowship.

Sure the above example is an extreme macho example.  I wanted to make the point of how its used for showing your spiritual growth to the others in the meeting.

Let’s use a more subtle example, with a very effective ‘reverse spin’ delivery:

Ok say your education ends with a high school diploma. And your job history for you whole life prior to getting sober has been bussing tables, waiter jobs, and unskilled labor guy at the construction sites. Let’s say thats you. Its honest work and nothing to be ashamed about. So how can you use this to your advantage??

Let me show you a trick I have witness used at least 2 dozen times and the guys who use it are seen among local AA guys as pilars of our fellowship. You take that modest job history and you share this: “A job is a job!  You suit up and you show up! That’s what we do here in Alcoholics Anonymous!  Never mind about your career! What YOU need is a job. ANY JOB! If I have to buss tables then I will buss table. And if I have to pick up trash at the job site then I will show up on time and be grateful for the work.”

Sounds great don’t it? You bet it does! You ought to hear the grunts of approval from the other men at the stag meeting when the guy delivers this pitch. Oh and the truth of course is this guy would be doing NOTHING DIFFERENT AT ALL FROM WHAT HE WAS DOING FOR WORK BEFORE GETTING SOBER. 

This reverse spin shows how we can effectively use exaggeration on “How humble we are willing to make ourselves now“. OK yeah for the guy who is listening to this sharing (who has a college degree and a 20 year career) this is dishonest and misleading and can make that guy feel like HE isnt doing the program the right way like this guy who is willing to buss tables. But for the guy who is doing the exagerated SHARING, this exageration is great for his reputation as being among the holy of the Holy.

Yes, its too late for me to make benefit from these tricks but its not too late for you new guys!

Wife, mom or the court making you do meetings?  OK, use my lessons and become the holy of the holy at meetings.

Til next time,

Harry A.