The Currency of AA
First, let me remind you of what I have mentioned in this blog before: There is no planned conspiracy among AA members to lie or deceive any one else in AA. (More on this at the end of the posting.)
Having said that, lets now get to our topic: What is the “currency of AA” ? I could simply say “HUMILITY and GRATEFULNESS to GOD“. Many a AA would be very happy to hear me say that. Unfortunately, not only would that statement be incomplete, it would be inaccurate as well.
The full and complete description of what constitutes the “currency of AA” is this: the self-promotion of one’s humility and gratefulness to GOD.
See unless your fellow AA (or CA) members are informed about it, your “humility and gratefulness” will do you no good. In other words, you will have no currency in your fellowship. You’ll be broke, low brow, unseen, invisible. Just like all parts of the North American society at large, one needs a flow of cash, or currency, to be a real person.
Two posts I put up on this blog a while back addressed these very issues. But at the time I just wanted to post the HOW TO parts and not bore every one with the WHY behind it. You can read those earlier postings by clicking here and here.
So, all things being equal between two fellowship members, the one with the greater amount of humility and gratefulness will be the member of higher esteem. In fact even if social and financial and looks are not the same between two members, the one with the greater amount of humility and gratefulness can be seen in the AA fellowship as the better AA member. It happens all the time. I’ve seen it. For over 16 years I witness this.
Sounds almost impossible don’t it. Well if you believe in “absolutes” it is impossible. However, if you believe in the world as it actually is, maybe this is not impossible. Then we could see this more like a contradiction. As in you cannot be humble or have humility if you are purposely letting this information out in your daily conversations and sharing at the meetings.
Ah, so then those with the greater amounts of “AA currency” are NOT really humble or filled with humility at all! And if that is the case with their humility then maybe we should be suspicious of their claims to be grateful to god?
As we say in New Jersey, DUH, No Shit Sherman. Correct. Those with the greatest amounts of AA currency are in fact those lacking true humility. And those things they are grateful to god FOR, they are aware that god had nothing to do with those things.
Before I finish this post, I need to bring a little more detail to that There is no planned conspiracy sentence I wrote earlier in this posting. I can FEEL you AA true believers just chomping at the bit to post a comment on how wrong I am. Hopefully you are still reading rather than writing. Anyway, let me elaborate on how this behavior is not at all a conspiracy but still so prevalent.
The explanation is very simple really. You see examples of it everyday. For some of you, you didn’t even have to leave the house to see it. Yes, there is no planned conspiracy however all members of the group all conform to this acceptable behavior. The members, who adhere to the conformity the best, rise to the top of the social ladder. And yet, not once (until this blog I suppose) has there ever been a conversation about how to behave.
Here’s the example that will make this crystal clear for you: teenage boys. Let’s pick on the skateboard dudes for a minute. Whether its your son or the annoying lil’bastard down the street, you all have seen todays “skateboard dude” and his crew. They all dress the same. Every day they dress in similar fashion. Their haircuts are the same. Their speech and slang is the same. And yet, there are NO CONVERSATIONS and NO AGREEMENTS made between any of these skater boys on how they will behave. Dude 1 doesn’t call up Dude 2 and say “Hey I am wearing my worn and frayed black Gorillaz shirt today, what black tee shirt were you going to wear today?”
This is psych 101. This is simple group conformity. If you are a member of OUR GROUP, this is how you behave. Learn to excell at the way OUR GROUP BEHAVES and you rise to the top of OUR GROUP.
AA is a group. Each meeting of course is actually called a group, but the actual social group is more likely the whole region where your AA people live. The Texas AA people have their own tweaks to the “this is how YOU BEHAVE in OUR GROUP”. And the NYC AAer have their tweaks. Southern cal tweaks differ from Northern Cal tweaks. But they are all adhering to HOW OUR GROUP BEHAVES.
There is “what the Big Book says“, there is “what the AA people say ” and there is what actually happens within AA and its fellowship. Keep with my blog , read all that is here and you will learn what that last part is all about.
OK, Now I am done. Feel free to write to me and tell me how this is all wrong.
harry A.
Still sober today since 12/07/89
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August 14th, 2006 @ 3:21 pm
A lot of this is dead on. Each group or area develops a certain culture. Often this culture is determined by the group “leaders” who sometimes subtley control the group through belittlement and ostracizing. The many desperately want to belong because we have so little self esteem when we first get sober. Eventually, some of us start to figure all this out. I was lucky enough to find a sponser who is sane. The few of us keep coming back and speaking our truth. We are as important as anyone, if not more so.
I see itas a stage of evolution that many never get to acheive in AA and I want to be sure to stay there to help any others that want to make the next leap up. How does it help if we run away from AA? No. I refuse to. It’s mine as much as anyone else’s. I’m staring to enjoy saying the things that I know mess with people’s heads. It is a somewhat lonlier place to be, but at least my friends now are really my friends.
PJ
January 6th, 2007 @ 12:20 am
I have a flatmate who is in AA, and after he moved in I noticed some peculiarities about him. I initially chalked this up to the difficulties he was going through what his “recovery”: i.e. he’s trying to relate to the world and the people in it in a way that is entirely new to him, and still finding his feet, and that must be hard, etc. Also, I imagine it must be tempting, once one has taken to trouble to improve one’s behaviour drastically in this way, to feel therefore entitled to praise and happiness and general acknowledgement that one is not quite as much of a dick as one used to be. Like a soldier who expects the Medal of Honor for showing up to roll call.
In particular, my flatmate has a tendency toward near constant self-eulogisation. Almost daily–I’m not kidding–he finds a way to say things like “I’m a good guy. I help people.” Cring-inducing things like that. While at first this was only embarrassing (for me, not for him of course), it has since become really irritating since it has become abundantly clear–as if declaring one’s virtue didn’t already indicate the absence of virtue–that he is demonstrably NOT a “good guy” or anything resembling one. In fact he’s in the process of screwing me for hundreds of dollars, and literally claiming that it’s the fault of MY lifestyle (i.e. not in AA, like him) that I can’t afford to pay HIS rent.
What you say about the currency of AA has been very enlightening. It seems to me that if a person were constantly involved in a place where the currency is as you describe (he goes to meetings every day), he would pretty quickly devolop the ludicrous and absolutely baseless high self-opinion my flatmate has, and embarrass and anger people with his constant demands for admiration.
Did AA make him this way? Well, I take it you would say it did. I never knew him before AA (and I sure wish I didn’t know him after it either). I suppose in his case it might just be that a drunk horse thief without the booze has resulted in a sober horse thief. I don’t know. More practically, how on earth do I deal with someone like this, i.e. a real asshole who is daily being encouraged to continue being a real asshole?
-Plautus.
January 7th, 2007 @ 12:27 am
I think the best way to deal with him is to not be his flatmate. Sorry for such an obvious answer - and I sincerely dont write this to be flip about it. The “holy” in all their forms deserve to be LEFT ALONE.
I suggest even if it means a loss of moneys to make the move, that you still MAKE the move and leave that flat.
I have my friends from AA and I have my friends from outside of AA. Hands down the non AAers have shown themselves to be my true friends. Even in times when I am down or even annoying, they show TRUE compassion. And they do so not for points from God, but out of friendship.
Harry A
STILL sober - 17 years and one month!