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Or if you are already sober: Why stay sober?

The best reason first, because you want to stay alive. Or maybe you are not afraid of dying but simply put, you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Almost all of the AA people who have spoken to me about my blog will ask me “Then Why stay sober?” We discussed this before on the blog and you can read that posting here .

Whether purposely or not, the AA faithful do not seperate getting sober (or staying sober) from working the steps. Of course I know this one and the same thinking is the whole point of the Big Book and you cannot say you are working a program if you dont think “Stop working the steps equals not staying sober“.

But despite that dogmatic thinking of the AA faithful, my 16 years of experience with AA has shown me people who do not work the steps or even who have never worked the steps, STAY SOBER. They remain in AA, attend meetings, and stay sober. As I have mentioned in a few postings, doing all the steps is really just a rite of passage for AAers. Those who have done the steps will freely mention this fact in their sharing. It is a badge of honor that is flashed often in AA meetings. And those who have not worked the steps will simply not refer to the steps while they share.  Alcoholics Anonymous does not gather up any official statistics on who works the steps and who does not, but I will tell you this: walk into any speaker meetings and just about HALF of the AAers there have not worked the steps.

The decision to get sober and staying sober is a complete and seperate action from working the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous. In fact there are those people who got sober and they never attended an twelve step meeting in their lives.

Why stay sober? Because I want to. My realisation that the “living the 12 steps in all my affairs was ruining my life” has NOTHING TO DO WITH MY STAYING SOBER.

When I denounce the 12 step program, I do not denouce sobriety.

But of course the AA faithful argue that point. To the faithful of AA, if you stop working the program, drinking is just around the corner. To them, it is inevitable that those who do not work the program will go out and drink.

It took me over 12 years to even suspect that the 12 step program was a crock of shit. It was almost 14 years in AA before I could say that outloud, never mind write it out in a blog.

If you need to be sober, get sober.  If you need to be in AA or another fellowship to stay sober, then do that too.  I have no problem with that. I never have.

If you are forced to get sober or forced to be in a 12 step fellowship, then that is where I have the problem. As was recently posted here, this blog is for you guys.

If you went willingly into AA and WANTED to live the life promised to you by the Big Book, but for reasons unknown working the steps has not delivered to you the promises, this blog is for you too.

If you use your sharing, or what you chose to share in meetings, as a means to elevate your standing among your fellowship members, this blog is especially for you.

Until the next posting, take care and do what you have to do to live the life you want.

Sincerely
Harry A.
Sober since 12/07/89