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WOW, has it REALLY been since October that I last put out a post?  Sorry about that gang. I never meant to let that much time go past before the next posting.

And so much has happened too since then. Not that whats happened is what kept me from posting. Its that whole “dont feel like dealing with the negative today” that I posted in my Burden of Negativity post.  It’s been mostly that which has kept me from typing out another post.

The new job has me fucking Exhausted is the other reason.  yeah - I’m WORKING!  yeah I know it is hard to beleive aint it?  Well let’s not get too excited. Its a job I am learning to hate. The pay is just ok; about what I was making in 1997. And its just a temp job too. Well its temp to hire. And depending on the day you ask me or my boss, they are liking me or they dont like me.  I am working at position I did two promotions ago. And thats not why the job is one I hate.

I hate it because the way the company runs, I have to do my job like a dipshit hack and not in the professional manner in which I am accustomed to preforming my work.  Each day, at the moment when I am ready to walk out and quit, I remind myself that i need this fucking job, shut my mouth, suck it up and stay employed. You werent expecting me to be grateful to god for this job and I think I am there at that company to be of maximum service to my fellow man, did you?;-)

The banks are calling alot these days; started back in September. Seems like I am a few month behind and they want their money. They call every day. Now thats not a figure of speech, they actually do call every day. I use to answer every call and talk to them. I would explain the whole being unemployeed situation and not having any asset to liquidate and the 401k’s are gone etc and that I am working on getting that next interview. And they would be nice about it, even though every sentence on their side of the conversation would be “Then HOW MUCH can you pay us today?”. And the same bank would call THE VERY NEXT DAY. Ok sure I still owed them money - but I just told them what the situation was and they thought what? I’m lying? Or that even though I am unemployed and broke, TODAY, I have decided to send them my food money??

So I dont take their calls any more. When I have time, and something to send, I call them. But otherwise, why would I put up with their dishonesty? Yeah I can hear you republicans crying now - Oh but you OWE them money Harry!  Well yes I do still owe them money. Their money in fact. I know that. I am broke and unable to meet my financial obligations. But I am not dishonest. They on the other hand have proven to be more dishonest than I could have ever imagined. So, being the non holy, no longer bearing the cross for AA sort of guy any more, I choose simply not to deal with them.

My sobriety anniversary came and went since my last posting. December 7 2006 marked 17 years without a drink or line or a pill. This year was the first year I HAPPILY skipped taking a cake or chip. In fact I just dont go to meetings any more. Not even the Saturday night speaker meetings where all the hotties go.

Mid-December my best friend, perhaps maybe my only real friend (that was in my life now) move to the east coast. So now its just harry on his own.  I tried to go out to the same taverns and spots that me and my buddy would hang out. But its just not the same. In fact its down right depressing to sit their by myself. So pretty much I just do that same routine that I am sure plenty of you guys also do. Go to work, come home, eat diner, watch TV and go to bed.

And thats my life these days. Not the best life, but things have been worse, so I deal with it as is. Too little time at home to sit and write out a post. And not enough energy at the end of the day to be able to think about what to write anyway. This being late Saturday night, I have the time, engery and inclination to write something out. And those three things do not occur every weekend by the way.

Well I know this is not my usual inciteful ripping away the facade of the AA fellowship type of posting you all love, but it is how its like now. Let’s not keep out of touch for this long any more ok guys?

happy new year!
Harry A.