The Girl IS PISSED!
A woman recently posted this comment on my site. I thought she deserved to have the spotlight on this blog, so that comment is now an article.
And by the way, what she is writing about I have personally witness happen dozens of times over the 14 year period I attended 12 step meetings. I beleive her. I am willing to bet that despite the obvious angry, she is not exagerating in the least! In any case - here is her posting. Please feel free to comment…………..
Sincerely
harry A
and STILL sober too 
I hate AA!! I don’t even drink! But because of that shit I lost my love of 4 years. He was in treatment and 2 weeks into his program he decided that we could only be “friends” I’d rather deal with him drunk thank trying to tell me that he’s taking it “day by day.” I tried Al-Anon, but that was bullshit..I’m so pissed off and now I’m taking the blame for everything just so that this man and I can be friends..this is crazy…those of you who believe that this program works are involved in a cult..you are being brain washed..Look at me..I love this man and he is telling me that I will not know where he works and where he lives becuase he does not trust me to know his “sober” life..bullshit!!! I’m so glad that you made this site..if you didn’t I would of I have a lot of anger that I am working with but AA and REHAB and AL-ANON IS BULLSHIT>>>FUCK ALL OF THEM!!! I’m sorry I’m not trying to offend anyone but imagine someone not involved in your relationship telling your spouse that it’s time to break up..it’s not fair!!
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November 2nd, 2007 @ 11:12 pm
Sober Friends are an integral part of living a sober life and although I don’t condone what happens and I believe that the programs current condition is way out of whack I will say that you can’t blame the Program only the Personalities. It is supposed to be Principals before personalities but I am a firm believer that this has been twisted 180 degrees, Personalities before Principles, its kind of like Christianity there is only ONE bible yet many different denominations.
ne other thing, as a sick man I will share with you this, alcoholics are usually Masters at manipulation, so that which is heard often becomes that which we choose to make it. NO where does it say to break existing relationships, as a matter of fact it says not to make a major life changes, this I think is the exact opposite.
I could get stuck on this forever but I will leave it at this for now,
I wish you the best of luck with the adventure it will be a long one.
November 7th, 2007 @ 11:20 pm
First I would like to say that you have every right to be VERY pissed off, but I ask that you not be pissed at the program but the people. You see in itself the 12 steps oa AA are very solid if used and applied they are a great guide to living a better life. The problem lies in the alcoholic themselves, we are MASTERS at manipulating so when we hear some idiot sponsor say we shouldn’t be involved in a relationship for 2 years what we that are already in a relationship turn that into is, gee whiz what a great reason to have a couple flings, the Big Book does not say this, it does speak of not making major changes so the truth is that unless the spouse is hindering the Alcoholics recovery then the shouldn’t be going anywhere. AA Is good we are watering it down trying to make it politically correct this doesnt work, There are good meeting good people but it takes work.
I will keep you in prayer, and hope things work ouy for you.
Rick
February 4th, 2008 @ 11:20 pm
I wrote up a little joke called:
“My Letter to Bill W.” It caracatures many of the goings on in AA, how they mess with relationships as well as their errant philosophy. I hope you get a laugh and it will cheer you up. Let me know if you like it..
Dear Bill W.
I cannot thank you enough for changing my life. Until I joined your fellowship and met members of your organization, my life was disastrous. I drank constantly and drifted aimlessly through life. When I was “12 Stepped” by two wonderful men (one a vacuum salesman, the other one a Dominos pizza delivery guy), little did I know my life would never be the same again.
They told me about a meeting at a nearby church that would tell me the ugly truth about my incurable illness. I wasn’t aware I even had an illness although I did get the flu quite often back then for some strange reason. I agreed to meet them at the church basement, perhaps they could help me.
At this meeting I was greeted by lots of warm, welcoming people. These people came from varied backgrounds but they had one thing in common. They were all alcoholics and were very proud of that. I often wondered if I too was an alcoholic, but could not find a precise definition of what an alcoholic actually is. They told me that if I thought I was an alcoholic, then I was one. That made perfectly logical sense to me, so from that day on I called myself an alcoholic. I too could be a member of this special group of people.
I was given a blue book to read and was told to find someone in this group to advise me on how to run my life since I am not able to think for myself being that I am an alcoholic. I picked an elderly, chain smoking man named Louie to be my sponsor. Since Louie had over 20 years of sobriety, I reasoned that he had special wisdom or a profound spiritual connection that I did not have. After all, since he had so much sobriety, he is much smarter and wiser than I. That day I decided to become Louie’s pigeon.
Being a pigeon is hard but I persevered. I followed Louie’s direction to the letter, read the book, took the 12 steps as outlined and went to lots of meetings all over the city. The people I befriended at the meetings were often very peculiar and even stranger than the guys I used to drink with. I found this to be a very strange disease indeed. Even if I don’t drink, my disease progresses anyways, and I could meet a horrible, tragic end unless I kept doing the steps and going to the meetings. I also noticed that my disease flared up allot on Saturday nights, holidays and when I had days off from work, which I could not explain.
I noticed a lot of people didn’t stick around very long. Louie explained to me that these people would probably end up in jail, go insane (which many were already) or even die. If they stayed sober they were not real alcoholics at all and did not have our disease. I found this type of circular reasoning to be cunning, baffling and powerful, but it must be true. A well-known man of science named “Dr. Silkworth” proved it. His findings have saved millions of lives and I can’t believe has wasn’t given a Nobel Peace prize for this incredible discovery. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.
Anyways, thanks for giving me a new life, a whole new circle of friends and a completely different outlook on everything. I have even met a really neat girl called “ Penny”. She is cute, intelligent, and athletic and has a great sense of humour and we would like to spend time together. Louie advised me that I would not be allowed to do so for at least several months as this is called “13th Stepping” and that is against the rules. I didn’t know about this rule, we used to just call it “dating”. I guess Louie is better experienced than I on these matters since he was divorced three times.
Well, just as you promised, I really have been rocketed to a fourth dimension of existence that I could barely even fathom, in fact I never want to return to planet earth ever again! I hope to one day graduate from pigeonhood to something better, but only when I get enough time in.
Yours Truly
J. S.
PS: In case you don’t know, there a lot of stock promoting activities in the fourth dimension, and the neat thing is that no one ever loses money, the market never crashes and you don’t even need a license. You may want to check it out.
February 4th, 2008 @ 11:24 pm
Hope this cheers you up and makes you laugh. It is entitled “My Letter to Bill W.” Let me know if you like it..
Dear Bill W.
I cannot thank you enough for changing my life. Until I joined your fellowship and met members of your organization, my life was disastrous. I drank constantly and drifted aimlessly through life. When I was “12 Stepped” by two wonderful men (one a vacuum salesman, the other one a Dominos pizza delivery guy), little did I know my life would never be the same again.
They told me about a meeting at a nearby church that would tell me the ugly truth about my incurable illness. I wasn’t aware I even had an illness although I did get the flu quite often back then for some strange reason. I agreed to meet them at the church basement, perhaps they could help me.
At this meeting I was greeted by lots of warm, welcoming people. These people came from varied backgrounds but they had one thing in common. They were all alcoholics and were very proud of that. I often wondered if I too was an alcoholic, but could not find a precise definition of what an alcoholic actually is. They told me that if I thought I was an alcoholic, then I was one. That made perfectly logical sense to me, so from that day on I called myself an alcoholic. I too could be a member of this special group of people.
I was given a blue book to read and was told to find someone in this group to advise me on how to run my life since I am not able to think for myself being that I am an alcoholic. I picked an elderly, chain smoking man named Louie to be my sponsor. Since Louie had over 20 years of sobriety, I reasoned that he had special wisdom or a profound spiritual connection that I did not have. After all, since he had so much sobriety, he is much smarter and wiser than I. That day I decided to become Louie’s pigeon.
Being a pigeon is hard but I persevered. I followed Louie’s direction to the letter, read the book, took the 12 steps as outlined and went to lots of meetings all over the city. The people I befriended at the meetings were often very peculiar and even stranger than the guys I used to drink with. I found this to be a very strange disease indeed. Even if I don’t drink, my disease progresses anyways, and I could meet a horrible, tragic end unless I kept doing the steps and going to the meetings. I also noticed that my disease flared up allot on Saturday nights, holidays and when I had days off from work, which I could not explain.
I noticed a lot of people didn’t stick around very long. Louie explained to me that these people would probably end up in jail, go insane (which many were already) or even die. If they stayed sober they were not real alcoholics at all and did not have our disease. I found this type of circular reasoning to be cunning, baffling and powerful, but it must be true. A well-known man of science named “Dr. Silkworth” proved it. His findings have saved millions of lives and I can’t believe has wasn’t given a Nobel Peace prize for this incredible discovery. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.
Anyways, thanks for giving me a new life, a whole new circle of friends and a completely different outlook on everything. I have even met a really neat girl called “ Penny”. She is cute, intelligent, and athletic and has a great sense of humour and we would like to spend time together. Louie advised me that I would not be allowed to do so for at least several months as this is called “13th Stepping” and that is against the rules. I didn’t know about this rule, we used to just call it “dating”. I guess Louie is better experienced than I on these matters since he was divorced three times.
Well, just as you promised, I really have been rocketed to a fourth dimension of existence that I could barely even fathom, in fact I never want to return to planet earth ever again! I hope to one day graduate from pigeonhood to something better, but only when I get enough time in.
Yours Truly
J. S.
PS: In case you don’t know, there a lot of stock promoting activities in the fourth dimension, and the neat thing is that no one ever loses money, the market never crashes and you don’t even need a license. You may want to check it out.